constant

Who: Dorian and Megan
Where: Alexandria
When: early afternoon

Dorian had been more than busy the past few days. Things were still crazy outside of Marquette and though he thought that his new job might keep him on the home front more than his brothers he’d been pulled out into the world more than he would have liked with Caleb in the hospital. He made time to check in on his brother though it meant that when he wasn’t out being famine he was being the big brother. It was such that when he finally opened the doors to Alexandria he really hadn’t done that in a few days. If the shop was going to stay open more often he was going to need to hire someone to work part time.

He’d spent the morning cleaning things up, restocking abandoned stacks of books and making the place presentable. By afternoon he had his old computer out, going over the finances of the place, humming a song that he had no idea where it came from just realizing it was good for a waltz.

Megan was walking back from the post office with her hands shoved in the pockets of her cut off shorts, feeling a bit forlorn. There hadn’t been any mail delivered and she was feeling sad about it. No online tetris. No mail. The world was feeling very small that day. Habitually she looked over at Alexandria that had been dark for the past few days and was surprised to see the open sign turned. Her feelings had tempered since she had last seen Dorian and she stopped walking, staring at the store in contemplation. After a few moments she headed across the street and taking a deep breath she opened the door.

The interior was dim and cool and the familiar scent of books filled the air and she inhaled deeply, not searching for Dorian yet, just enjoying the smell of the store.

Dorian didn't look up when he heard the door open and close, used to it with the common passage of customers. He was in the middle of a thought anyway, typing something new into the spreadsheet he had pulled up. The silence that came after though did have him looking up, not seeing anything due to the way the store was set up, but still curious. "Hello?"

Megan heard him but didn’t answer, her usual way of entering the store and she went to the left, perusing the overflowing stacks, touching the spines lovingly. She didn’t realize how much she’d missed the store until that moment and she pulled a book off the shelf and started flipping through it.

He waited for an answer but when he didn't get one, he couldn't help but get up from the counter, moving around it to see if he could find the source. Someone was here right? Maybe they just hadn't heard him. He moved around the stacks, slowing when he spotted Megan and leaning against a shelf opposite from where she was. "Hey there."

“Store was closed the last few days,” she said, a curtain of auburn hair hiding her face as she looked over the book in her hand. “Where’d you go?” Okay so maybe she was still smarting a little over him running off again last time but it didn’t show in her voice. She just seemed preoccupied by the book in her hands.

Dorian was quiet. There really wasn't an easy way to answer but he knew she'd been upset last time he lied to her. "Caleb's been in the hospital. I've been there and I had some other work that needed to be done that wasn't here. It's been a little busy lately. " He shrugged, trying to make it less of a big deal even if being Famine was hardly something that could be taken lightly.

“Is he okay?” She looked up at him in concern. “Oh, did you go through the doors?” Megan put the book back on the shelf and leaned against it, crossing her arms over her chest and mirroring his pose.

"He…he will be? He's survived which is what matters," Dorian explained. The second question was harder one that he didn't have a direct answer for. He couldn't explain the part about leaving the loops completely about being out in the real world easily. Instead he just nodded, smirking a little at her stance.

Dorian didn’t seem too concerned any more so Megan didn’t press the subject any further. She noticed though that he didn’t answer her question. He was just smirking at her. “What?” she asked, shifting a little bit.

"You're mimicking me," he said, letting the smirk build into a small smile. "Not sure what it means but it's interesting to see." He pushed off the shelf and started back towards the counter, motioning for her to follow. "Looking for anything or just stopping by?"

Megan dropped her arms and followed him. “Where’d you go?”

Dorian settled back behind his computer, saving what he'd started and closing it. "When?" he asked, really hating that she was going to pressure him into this. He could feel it coming and he didn't want to talk about it any more than he wanted to tell her about it. Telling Kayos had been enough. There wasn’t a need to bring even more people into it.

“The past couple days. Did you go to Manhattan or something? The store was closed and so I was just wondering. Which sorta brings me to a question I had about, um, stuff.” It was a good seguay she thought and she leaned against the counter across from him, drumming her fingers on the wood.

"Oh right. I was in Manchester getting Caleb, then once through the doors to Germany. I wasn't there long, just to do some research." That he'd gone through the door to Germany was accurate, but he'd just used it as a jump point before he'd left the loops heading deeper into the parts of Europe that were still cut off. "I've been at the hospital too, making sure he's alright when I can." Which wasn't as often as he'd been out of town, but it was where he'd been when he wasn't off being a horseman. "Nothing interesting really. What’s the question?"

“Oh.” Megan felt a bit stung. She’d thought they agreed to do the Germany thing together, or at least that was the impression that she had from their conversation. Clearing her throat she pushed her hair behind her ear. “I was wondering about the apartment. Are you planning on moving back into it?”

Dorian was leaning against his side of the counter, watching her react and not sure how to handle it. He just seemed to upset her left and right. “The apartment? The one upstairs?” he asked, pointing towards the ceiling. “I don’t think I’m moving in any time soon. Things are going well enough at home.”

She was feeling forgotten about and Megan was trying not to let it bother her but it was an acute feeling that she couldn’t quite shake. “I was just wondering because I was thinking of moving out of the commune and I’d need a place,” she said, telling herself to just keep going. “Since you were living with your brothers, I thought maybe I could move into the apartment and maybe we could work out something by me... maybe working here.” It felt like a stupid idea now that she said it and she wondered if it was because she was already feeling those feelings. Megan normally didn’t feel hurt about things but for some reason all it ever seemed to be with Dorian was that he kept saying things that hurt her feelings. It was very frustrating.

He leaned forward watching her closely. What she said, all of it was reasonable and he was thinking of hiring someone part time. Giving her the place would work better with his sad finances anyway. “Why do you want to leave the commune?” The details her moving in he could hash out later, but what he wanted to know now was the why. She liked the commune, or so he thought. And she fit in there, or so he thought.

“I need a change,” she shrugged and started tracing designs on the counter. “Not sharing a bathroom with a million people.” A small smile tugged on her face as she recalled Ben’s reaction to her reasons. “And I’ll be in town. I have friends here so I don’t have to be alone all the time. I just need a change. I’m feeling restless. I don’t know if that’s normal or not but I’m rolling with it. And if I couldn’t get a job here, I was going to ask Kayos if she needs any help at Elysium. I’m twenty so that might be easier.”

Dorian studied her for a long moment, not sure he was completely sold on what she was saying. It seemed like something deeper, but she wasn’t giving it up. In some cases she wouldn’t share, but sometimes she just didn’t know. “Feeling restless like that is normal. I loved home as soon as I could because I felt the same way.” He was quiet for another moment then looked at her seriously. “Are you okay Meg?”

She felt scrutinized and she looked back at him. “I’m fine. I just want to move out and you have an empty apartment. I just thought I’d ask.”

“Don’t get defensive. You know I’m going to say yes. That works just fine for me, the place is empty, someone should move in if they need it. That doesn’t make me any less worried about you.”

“I’m not getting defensive.” Megan turned around so she could hop up to sit on the counter. Her flips flops fell to the floor and she wiggled her blue painted toes, smiling down at them as she admired the paint job. “Why would you be worried about me?” Maybe that part was a little defensive but she tried not to be.

“You’re getting close it,” Dorian pointed, leaning back a little as she jumped on the counter. “And I’m worried because that is what I do. I worry about people. You, my brother, anyone.”

“I’m not getting into this with you. You want to drop things? I get to drop things too.” It was easier to look at him now that she was almost the same height as him and so she gave him a withering look. Megan was getting a lot better at expressing emotion and she seemed less robotic about things. The drawback was that it was more obvious when she was upset. It was just one of those things she’d have to work on.

Dorian waited again, then nodded. “Alright fine, I’ll drop it.” He had his secrets, she could have hers as well he guessed. “When you want to talk about it though, we can.”

“Just like when you’re ready to talk about it we will?” That was harsh and she sighed and rubbed her eyes. “Sorry. That’s not fair.”

“It’s not really, but at the same time it is. You have your secrets, I have mine.” Dorian pushed away from the counter, gathering up his computer just for something to do. “You can have the apartment. I have some things to get out of it still but it’s all yours.”

Megan sighed and and looked down at her knees. “I feel like you’ve just forgotten about me. That we’d reached this corner and now all it is is us dancing around each other and I don’t know how to deal with it.” There. She said it. She was doing the communication thing.

Dorian hadn’t expected her to say something about it, especially not after the little bit of attitude she’d just given him about dropping subjects. After she said it though, he let out a little sigh, leaning against the counter again. “I haven’t forgotten about you. But there’s things going on in my life right now that I can’t talk about, that I won’t talk about and honestly I’m not even sure you’d believe me if I did tell you. Or, you’d believe me because you know me and you know I wouldn’t make it up, but you wouldn’t fully understand it. Plus, it could be dangerous for you to know, so it’s best that I keep it to myself. Maybe after some time, but for now, while I’m still adjusting, things will be different.” He paused, wanting to touch her for some reason, feeling like that might help things, but not sure if it actually would. Things were weird between them, like she said, and touching her might just make it worse. “It’s not a thing where I don’t trust you though Meg, it’s just me protecting you in my own little way. I’m sorry.”

Megan listened silently as Dorian explained, her green eyes fixed on him unblinkingly. His explanation was what she needed to hear. There was something going on and he couldn’t tell her but maybe eventually he’d be able to. Her shoulders relaxed, the tenseness leaving her body and she finally nodded. “That’s all you needed to say, Dorian,” she said softly and poked him in the shoulder to show she wasn’t mad at him. She was unused to someone outright saying they wanted to protect her and honestly, she was a bit touched by that. “I’m not a little girl though. When you’re ready, I’ll be able to handle it. I appreciate the, um, sentiment though. It’s very sweet of you.” She gave him a small smile, something she didn’t usually do.

“We both know I’m no good at that,” Dorian pointed out, glad she was easing up on being angry with him. “And really, protecting you is in no way a reflection on what you are or how capable your are. It’s that off the wall.” The smile brought one of his own, some relief flitting across his features enough to show that he was tired. Worry had him up all night and work had only added to that. He needed some real rest.

It peaked her curiosity and she wondered exactly what this secret was. “Yeah, well, you’re preaching to the choir,” she reminded him. “You know that holds the same, right? That when I worry about you, it’s not because I don’t think you can handle it.” They were very much alike, the two of them, protective and worrisome and sorely lacking in communication skills. Megan was happy to see him smile even though it made it obvious that he was tired. “Do you need me to walk you home again?

“It’s okay if you think I can’t handle it. Most people think I can’t,” Dorian pointed out though he smiled with it. Before he would have meant it more, now it was more of a joke. He shook his head a little, running a hand through his hair. “I’m alright. I want to stay here a little longer then I’ll go home.” Probably at least check in at the hospital as well.

“So moving into the apartment, does that mean I get the job? Or do you have to interview me? Because I can stay and help out. I’m not doing anything and...” she looked around at things still needing to be done. “You know.”

“You really want to work here? To deal with people?” Dorian asked. Even though he didn’t have the same self esteem issues, his interactions with his last employee had been less than chaste was still weighing on him. He doubted it would come to that with Megan, but that didn’t completely change that even part of him still didn’t trust himself.

Megan pulled her legs up to sit indian style on the counter top and contemplated. “No offense Dorian, but I don’t see many people around here when it’s open,” she told him. The bookstore was quiet. The town was quiet. There used to be a lot more when the loops weren’t up. “And I could use the practice. I won’t throw anything at anyone and since you’ve got other responsibilities, how else is the store going to stay open? And I’ll be living right upstairs so...” She looked over at him, looking almost smug.

To be fair she had just painted him into a corner. He was willing to give her the spot, even with that inkling in the back of his mind, but he didn’t want to seem too eager, no matter how right she was. “I suppose you’ll have to pay rent somehow,” he wound up saying, shaking his head a little.

“Exactly. I don’t really want to work in a bar. That has a lot of people in it. Here is... safe. Quiet. Homey.” It was after all. She considered Alexandria to be one of her little safe havens. She loved the store and the smell of it. “If you’re okay with it of course.”

Dorian nodded, smiling a little. “I feel the same way about it,” he agreed. “That and I’m horrid at mixing drinks.” That got more of a smile and he sat down on his stool, one elbow propped up on the counter. “I’m okay with it. You knew I would be.”

“Mixed drinks?” Megan asked. She didn’t even know there were mixed drinks. She knew there were things like martinis and Jedi Mind Tricks, but those and the term didn’t exactly click for her. “I think I’ll pass. And it was just a lucky guess.” She returned his small smile with one of her own. “So do I call you ‘Boss’ now?”

“Yes, not everyone drinks their whiskey straight like I do.” Dorian smiled a little more than shook his head. “No. Or you could but that would be weird. Really weird.” He rubbed the back of his neck, working through some tension there. It wasn’t bad, but he was carrying too much these days. Maybe help around the shop would help.

Megan watched him, noting the tenseness and, like he often did for her, she reached over and sort of stroked his hair, trying to be comforting back. It was that new thing and her touch was hesitant. “You should really try get some rest,” she said.

When she touched him he was a little surprised, but he didn’t shy away. He was getting better at handling that sort of thing. At least it was Megan, he touched her often enough. “Probably. I promise I’m alright.”

“Do you want a hug?” she offered, trying to be comforting. Caleb was in the hospital after all and even though Dorian wasn’t talking about it, it was still weighing down on him. “I can do that.”

Dorian looked up at her a little, smiling a little. “You don’t have to do that.” He knew what it meant for her. “But thank you.”

Giving him a bit of a look she leaned over, wrapping an arm around him and resting her head on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay. I’m here to help now and you can relax.” She rubbed his shoulder a little bit, proud of herself for being open and working to be open with him.

Dorian laughed a little, but let himself rest his head against hers for a moment. “Well that’s reassuring,” he said actually feeling reassured. It would help to have someone around the store anyway.

“Is it? I’m glad,” Megan smiled.

He nodded and stayed where he was. “Yeah. It’s nice to have a constant in life.” He had a few, but even then sometimes they weren’t as constant as they could be. He supposed Caleb was more constant, if the wish had proved anything, but it was nice to know there were others.