Distractions

Who: Dorian and Megan
When: Midday
Where: Alexandria

For the first time in roughly twenty-four hours, Megan was fully human. Not a hulking, muscled beast over six feet tall with a bite pressure capable of snapping tree limbs easily. No, as Megan walked the streets of Marquette, she looked like any other young woman. The fact that she wasn’t wearing a jacket and wearing plain black foot flops did make her stand out, but not by much.

It was weird, leaving Dean and Thia’s house after all this time and actually being able to walk properly. It was weird to be in a perfectly normal situation again (for as normal as Marquette could be). Everyone was back safe and sound, plus a few tagalongs. Thia was safe and alive and Megan could tell by the way her and Dean hung on to one another that her sister-friend was still a bit shaken up. That was understandable though. She had died.

There was one last thing left though that had Megan feeling troubled and that had her opening the door into the comforting confines of Alexandria. She took a moment of just standing there in the doorway and just breathing in the smell of the dust and the books. Reaching up to retie her ponytail, she slipped off her foot flops and silently stalked through the stacks, noting how everything appeared haphazard, like a hurricane had gone through. Dorian must be quite worried. And considering who was left behind in England, she couldn’t blame her friend. Coming to the end of an aisle, Megan finally spied Dorian with piles of books around him. Some opened, some closed, the laptop humming away nearby. Megan was still silent and she stood there, just out of direct eye sight, watching him with her customary blank-face. She had a little box in her hands. Sophie had been cooking things like mad and Megan had grabbed a few things before she left the now crowded house.

Dorian had heard the door open, but he didn’t call out like he normally would. If someone was here they could look around on their own. They’d bother him if they needed him. It was quiet though, almost no sound at all and it was the silence that finally got Dorian to look up and around, spotting Megan over the pile of books on black magic in front of him. He didn’t say anything though, just watched her for a moment before sighing and looking back down at the book he was reading, absentmindedly tugging at his hair.

Megan pursed her lips in a display of emotion but it was not clear what she was feeling. It wasn’t like Dorian could see the expression anyway. And inside, Megan was feeling a whole slew of things. A bit of anger, a healthy bout of guilt. There was confusion and frustration there too. However, Megan wasn’t there to talk about her feelings. She was there for Dorian. She was there for her friend. Taking his look as permission to stay, Megan walked forward and set the little box on small open space of the counter. “I’m sorry I couldn’t bring him back with us.” Her voice was soft but it carried just the same.

He’d been fine with her being there, fine with her coming closer and setting whatever she’d set down that smelled good next to him. At her comment though, Dorian’s shoulders tightened and his breath hitched in his throat. It wasn’t Megan’s fault, just like it wasn’t Dorian’s. It was Caleb’s decision, but that didn’t meant it any easier to deal with. Anger rippled through Dorian, though the only way it showed was in his forearms as his hands clenched to fists for a moment.

She noticed the way his body shifted and the clenching of his fists. She could smell the anger on him and Megan felt guilty in the relief she felt that she was able to recognize that. The conversation she had with Oz the other day still stung and the possibility of her instincts being ‘broken’ frightened her more than she wanted to let on. “I know it doesn’t make anything better but I can’t really cook anything to make you eat -- I figure you probably haven’t eaten anything because that’s what people when they’re stressed apparently do -- so I brought some brownies. It’s not healthy but it’s something to eat and I don’t know how else to make it better.” She was babbling and it was completely out of the ordinary for Megan but seeing her friend in pain was worse than knowing that he was probably in pain and she didn’t know what to do. All Megan knew was that she wanted to make it better.

Once she started babbling, Dorian couldn’t stay angry because he knew he wasn’t angry at Megan. He was mad at himself, at Caleb, but really not angry with Megan. Looking up at her, it was obvious he hadn’t slept since they’d gotten home. His eyes were slightly bloodshot, his clothes changed but a little rumpled and there were dark circles pillowing under his eyes. “It’s okay Meg,” he said softly when she was done.

It didn’t feel okay, but Megan didn’t say that. She didn’t think Dorian would want to hear that. “I was really worried about you and Kayos while we were over there. I didn’t like leaving you guys alone. I mean, Thia needed us and Dean’s brother, but I still wish I could’ve stayed.” Kayos had been looking none too good when they arrived in Manchester and Megan had spent her time worrying about them. Megan exhaled slowly and leaned against the counter across from him, looking at an open book in front of her. “I’m sorry. And you should sleep, Dorian.”

“We were alright. I’m not completely useless,” Dorian commented, sounding slightly bitter. He knew Megan was genuinely concerned, but he’d hated that implied incapability that had been tossed around by everyone. When she leaned forward he found himself reaching for her hand, taking it in both of his. The physicality between them had always been light, but at the moment he needed something, anything, to ground him. “I’ll sleep when I’m done,” his voice was soft again, eyes watching their hands instead of her face.

Megan’s hand definitely twitched when he took it, but she didn’t pull away. She could understand what he was trying to do, what he needed and Megan wouldn’t be a good friend if she wasn’t able to help. Somewhat hesitantly, she reached over and rested her other hand over his, sort of resting on his wrist and she looked at them too, not really able to look at his exhausted face. “I wasn’t saying you can’t defend yourself or that you’re useless,” she said quietly. “I just happen to be able to turn into a monster that sends vampires running by the mere sight of myself.” She dead panned it, but it was definitely in attempts to lighten the mood. And that was another thing that bothered her. That Dorian saw her like that. That other people -- strangers to her -- saw her like that. Megan knew she shouldn’t be ashamed of the in-between form, it wasn’t as if she was going to hurt them, but it was still hard to do that. That the friend who she only just ‘came out to’ had to see her in that monster form. It again had Megan wondering if she really was getting in her own way when it came to the wolf inside her that she previously thought she’d embraced.

Just feeling her there was enough, even though part of Dorian was tempted to rest his forehead on their joined hands. He held back though, just trying to focus on breathing. It didn’t typically bother him, but in this moment he was so very lonely. Kayos had pointed out before that he had his family, that it made up for having two friends in town when he had his brothers. But they were both gone now. Mathias was god only knew where, and Caleb was...Dorian closed his eyes tightly, trying very, very hard dispel the thoughts that Caleb may not be coming back at all. Dorian would figure this out for Hunt and Hunt would bring his brother back. He had to. “It wasn’t as bad as you’re thinking,” he finally said belatedly.

She said nothing, but she could see the twitching in his shoulders and the way he was trying to focus. Megan only recognized it because she had to do the same thing plenty of times. She was tempted to reach out and stroke his hair and neck like he had done for her before, but it was a bit of a reach to do that and Megan’s arm wasn’t long enough. So she simply settled for stroking her thumb across the back of one of his hands. If she was the type of person, she’d hum, but Megan wasn’t so she remained quiet on that particular front, instead answering, “It wasn’t?” Because maybe that could get his mind off of worrying himself to death.

It took a moment or two before Dorian let himself get distracted, let his mind wander away from the books spread out before him and the fact that his little brother could be dying this very instant. “Just strange really. I mean I knew, but you went into one room as the girl and came out something else, but for some reason it was still you.” He tried to smile, but it was a weak attempt and after a second he just gave up, mind drifting back to where it had been, puzzling through Hunt’s issues.

It had at least gotten a smile out of him. That was all Megan could ask or expect and she wasn’t going to beg him for more. It wouldn’t be fair to ask him to be okay. She could only try distract him. “Dean calls me ‘pup’, the brat,” she said, sounding fond of the nickname. “I guess I have habits. Or something.” She frowned a little bit and settled for squeezing his hand before resuming the stroking. “How much do you know about Hunt?” Megan asked, abruptly changing subjects to what might be more serious. She was nervous as hell, now that everything was calming down to a much more manageable degree. “You showed up with him the other day. Are you friends?” There was an undertone of anxiety in her otherwise calm voice and she didn’t look at Dorian, both unable to let him see any signs of the anxiety on her face and to see the same anxiety on his. Because now Megan had things to worry about. Things she was sure that Oz must’ve thought about, but Oz had big problems on his hands for her to be able to bring up her own concerns which very well could mean nothing.

Again it took Dorian’s mind a few moments to change gears, like an old stick shift car being driven by a teenager, but eventually everything fell into place. “Hunt?” he asked even though it was rhetoric. “I’m wouldn’t say friends? We have a mutual friend, Kayos. He was with her when I called her and he tagged along.” Dorian glanced at the books scattered about, Hunt’s mind spread out across the counter. “I think, or well I know I guess, we’re sort of after the same thing. Though I don’t know how actively after it I am, but yes. I’m helping him with some stuff though. That’s what this is.” He looked up now, catching the fact that Megan wasn’t looking at him either. “What’s wrong? I’m being a complete ass aren’t I?” he asked, pulling her hands towards him as he leaned forward on the counter.

Kayos, the little blonde with the teleportation powers. Megan hadn’t spoken to her, or, if she had, she couldn’t recall what was exchanged. She could feel Dorian looking at her but Megan could look back up at him, focusing on their hands as he pulled them forward a bit. She could still smell the sharpness of the adrenaline and maybe the salty smell of tears with the usual inky book smell that came off of him. You’re not broken, kid, she told herself. “You’re not being an ass,” she murmured. She bit her lip, that rare show of facial emotion that she was working on. “Do I have to worry about him?” Tad didn’t know what she was; she couldn’t ask him about Hunt. Dorian would understand though. Dorian would give her an honest answer. Her hand tightened a bit on his while she kept absently stroking the back of his hand.

Dorian wasn’t sold on the fact that he wasn’t being an ass because he’d barely even spoken to Megan when she walked in the door, let alone touch the snack she brought him. Her question though seemed to clear things up well enough though. “Because of what he does? I don’t think so. I can talk to him though, if you want.” Letting go of her hand with just one of his he reached forward for Megan’s chin, tilting it up a little so she’d look at him. “Are you scared?” Her emotions had always been almost impossible to read but now it seemed obvious how she was feeling. So obvious that Dorian wasn’t sure he’d read it right.

“I’ve seen him when I run, sometimes,” she said, surprising herself by not flinching when Dorian tilted her head up. She was a little confused, wondering what this meant because no one had actually done something like that before except Oz. She wondered, exactly, what the look on her face was saying to him. “There were bigger things going on yesterday than for him to worry about putting a bullet between my eyes,” she said plainly. “But he’s a hunter, Dor. I’ve been avoiding him for months.” She’d taken evasive action that usually left Tad pretty confused, but it’s not like she could say anything. “Oz has too much on his plate right now. I don’t want to bring this up to him until I know for sure that we’re in trouble.” She clearly did not answer his question. Megan did not say that she was scared. No way would she acknowledge that.

She didn’t have to say she was scared, Dorian was able to infer enough from what wasn’t said. He let go of her hand as he stood, moving around the counter to Megan and pulling her into a hug. “I’m sorry I let him come along, and I put you in that situation. I swear though, I won’t let him hurt you,” he said before pulling away hands on her shoulders. He meant every word, this was something he could actually do, something he wasn’t afraid to do. He could protect Megan even if he’d failed at protecting Caleb.

Megan stiffened when he pulled her into the hug, eyes wide in surprise. Dorian, who got nervous half the time when they were together at touch or her dress was now hugging her. Before she could lift her arms to hug him back, Dorian had already pulled away, still leaving her wide-eyed as he talked to her. Her shoulders under his hands relaxed a little bit as Dorian spoke, but still, Megan was nervous. “No, don’t be sorry. We needed the help that we could get,” she said firmly with a little bit of a nod. “He helped, but...” yeah, there was the but. “My friend, Tad, started hanging out with him a lot awhile back. I’m worried. And now he knows for sure what I am. What Oz is. It’s not that hard to figure out where we live and you know how people are about us.” And yeah, there were a few definite bad apples in all their bunches but wolves in general were pretty peaceful. Kept to themselves. Just like any normal wolf that couldn’t turn human. “We’ve already gone through this shit once before.” It was incredibly rare for Megan to swear, let alone speak this much and there may have been a certain babbling to her speech but it was no different than what she’d say to him on the intranet. “Do you know what I did the last time they came to exterminate us? I hid under the porch of a cabin in the woods nearly the entire time!” Okay, so there was a little bit of panic and Megan realized in the back of her mind that all the stress she’d been feeling since Thia had left was now bubbling to the surface. And Dorian, who was in terrible shape and had more than enough on his plate, was on the receiving end of it and Megan felt terrible, but dammit, she was scared. “I don’t know how to keep my family safe,” she whispered. She wasn’t alpha, it wasn’t her job to keep the pack safe, but Oz had enough to deal with. He didn’t need Megan’s worries and anxiety and freak out laid at his feet just now. Maybe she could’ve talked to Dean, or Thia, but Thia had just come back to life and Dean had his little brother and she loved those two but they couldn’t help. “I don’t....” She looked away, biting her lip. “I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this.”

Dorian did his best to follow along, the name Tad ringing a bell that struck teenager and he wondered if it was Hunt’s student that had been giving him trouble. As far as he knew, Hunt was short on the friends front, so that might be it. “Hey, hey, don’t worry,” Dorian’s face had shifted, the exhaustion was still there, but a caring had taken over as the predominant feeling. “Don’t worry about Hunt. I’ll talk to him or I’ll talk to Kay to talk to him. It’ll get sorted out.” Moving his hand from her shoulder he rested it against her head for a moment, a very older brother sort of touch. “You can always talk to me Meg. Even when I don’t seem like I’m listening I usually am.” Which was how he’d seemed when she walked in, that much he was sure of.

“I’m not worried,” Megan said automatically and it was such a bold-faced lie that it was funny because she’d pretty much just said she was. She sighed a little, rolling her eyes up to look at the hand on her head and shook it off like would a fly, brown ponytail swinging a bit. “Thanks though. I’d talk to the guy but...” It was obvious why the ‘but’ was there however Megan didn’t see the point in continuing on it because it didn’t need to be said. Megan took a step back, leaning back against the counter and looking at the books scattered around. “Do you want me to get you some coffee or something?” Another sort of abrupt change of subject. Megan was definitely feeling antsy, her fingers sort of thumping against the books, her bare feet doing the same thing against the floor. She wasn’t going to order Dorian to bed if he didn’t want to go to bed. Everyone dealt with stuff their own way.

Dorian let her shake off his hand and walk away, waiting for a moment before going back around the counter. “If it helps, I already talked to him today and he’s in no state to come after you.” The guy had barely been able to talk about magic, let alone actually start hunting. “I’m alright for coffee. I think I’ve already drank three or four pots,” he said rubbing his eyes. “Thanks though.”

The idea of it possibly then being the best time to strike at him crossed Megan’s mind but she quickly banished that thought. That was way too out of line to do. No. Move away from those thoughts. She looked up at Dorian as he came back around the counter and she opened the little box of cookies and pushed it over to him. “Energy drink then? Do you need any help with anything?” she looked at the books curiously and remembered the message she sent him about the psychic block she had. Could any of these help with that?

Since she’d offered the food, Dorian took a cookie, nibbling on it as he settled back down. “No more caffeine. I’m riding out this high for now,” he said looking up at her. “Then I’ll sleep,” he reassured her since she’d told him he needed to earlier. “As for help, I’m not sure. I’m trying to figure out how best to attack a broken spell and though I understand magic theory really well? I don’t practice. And this is complicated.”

“To fix the broken spell or to clean up the fragments?” she asked curiously, not sure which one sounded harder. Megan lived with a witch, sure, but her and Maddie didn’t hang around talking magic theory or anything. She had picked up fragments from conversations or answers to the occasional curious question. She flipped open one of the closed books and pulled a face at the picture of the woodcut of some serious spell work gone wrong. Ew, was his body turned inside out?

Megan’s question caught Dorian off guard but he recovered swiftly. “Both maybe? I haven’t figured out the best plan of attack yet. I’d originally thought that mending it and then dispelling it would be best, but that might not be an option.” Now that Dorian knew more about it, he realized that fixing the spell meant putting Hunt back into the state that he couldn’t dispel the spell, which meant taking apart the fragments. “So now I’m trying to fix pieces, but it’s fragmented all over the place and I have no idea how fixing one part is going to affect another.” And he was ever aware of the fact that he was fucking with someone’s head.

“And that is why I’m not totally down with magic,” Megan said, pursing her lips as she flipped aimlessly through the book. “I mean, magic healed my back up so I guess there’s some good in it, found Scott and stuff, but still... the stuff that people try to do.” She held up the book to show more of the gruesome pictures, pulling a face to comically illustrate her disgust. She was trying to get better at the whole showing emotion thing. “Being half-demon, that should mean you could do magic, right?”

Dorian couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “Well that’s why there’s different schools of it. What you’re talking about? That’s mostly white magic, used for healing and such. There’s little side effects with it, but like this,” Dorian leaned forward pointing to a specific picture in the book where it looked as if the guy had been strung up by nothing. “That’s black magic. It’s not always that gruesome, but typically it’s used for harm. Then there’s the magic Caleb does, his tears him up, but he can bring down buildings with it.” Dorian winced a little, thinking of his brother, but plowed onward. “Being half-demon has nothing to do with me being able to do magic. The only perk I get out of being half demon is having enough luck to always pull the right book when I have a question. Except today, obviously.” Dorian indicated the piles around him. It was annoying him that his little trait wasn’t helping, but he was certain it had something to do with the fact that he couldn’t ask a clear question.

She listened closely as Dorian explained, looking at what examples he gave and trying to take that all in. She could understand what he was saying. She’d read books, tried to understand what she could. “So fiction got that part right, huh?” she asked. “But people can only do a certain type of magic?” She’d seen Maddie do location stuff and Oz said how she protected the commune. And by how Dorian said ‘the kind of magic that Caleb does’ meant, to her, that he must focus on a different kind of magic. Nic had talked about white magic a little bit too. “Like, just because you’re a doctor doesn’t mean you can do brain surgery sort of thing?”

“Not necessarily,” Dorian said shaking his head. “Some people have an affinity for certain types, like Caleb. He’s just naturally good at his brand of magic, not at others. I’ve met witches though who practice more than one. Some practice both white and black, some mix white with other things. There are other forms, like voodoo? That stuff you really have to believe in so they tend to only practice one version.” Dorian was relaxing, enjoying teaching and explaining everything.

“Is it true that black magics are used to control stuff? Like Darth Vader using the Force to choke someone while a Jedi wouldn’t? So you wouldn’t do that stuff with white magic?” She thought about the books she read and the movies, how people said that werewolves were born from Black Magic and unnatural.

“Black magic and Force are totally different,” Dorian pointed out with a smirk. “But no, you don’t use white magic to hurt, whereas you do use black magic for that purpose. The ingredients for white magic can’t even cause harm, so nothing more than herbs and plants.”

Megan rolled her eyes a bit and returned Dorian’s smirk with a hint of her own. “So white magic can’t combat black magic or anything like that, you mean, right?” She wondered if that block in her head was black magic and if black magic would be the only way to get rid of it.

“It’s not really good versus evil thing,” Dorian pointed out, propped his chin on his hand. “Seems that way given the terminology but no. There’s a branch of white magic though, warding, which can block some things, but it works in different ways. Sometimes it keeps you from noticing something or it keeps a certain type of person from crossing a threshold, lycanthrope for example, or demons. That can work as a shield to black magic if used properly, but it’s not like the movies. White magic is mostly defensive, healing and shielding.”

She nodded, propping her chin on her hand to mimic him. She still looked at the pictures in the book, going over the questions in her mind. “So the stuff you’re working on now is black magic related?” she asked curiously. The best way to form a good opinion on something was to learn about it. Thia had been trying that and Megan still wasn’t entirely sure. Dorian knew his stuff though. Megan trusted him. “I come to that conclusion through the exciting books you have here.” She raised an eyebrow at him, trying for more humor.

“Correct. Broken spells that keep me up all night.” Though it wasn’t this that had kept him up all night. That was gremlins and angels and demons things he’d already started other intranet posts on, but hadn’t posted before Hunt showed up to realign his focus. He gave her the smile she was trying to get, finding it strange that she seemed to be trying to show emotion.

Megan was glad she got a smile out of him, although it seemed a little off. Megan passed it off for his tiredness. “It must be a big spell,” she said, gesturing to the multitude of books that had been pulled from the shelves. “But you’re taking breaks, right? I saw your intranet post. It was pretty cool. Are you going to do more? Or is this going to be taking up all your time.” She shut the gruesome book they’d been looking at and grabbed another one, wondering idly if Dorian could use some help. She’d like to help, even if she didn’t particularly know what was being looked for. Another set of eyes never hurt.

“You have no idea,” Dorian murmured looking at the mess he’d made of his store. “It’s more than that really, it’s just really complicated magic, and I’m really trying to understand how practicing works. Like I understand theoretically what I need to do, but not the actual practice of it.” Dorian ran a hand through his hair. “I posted that before dawn,” he said flushing. “That’s what I was working on all night, that sort of thing, but I’ve been on this since morning.” With barely a break to breathe. Actually talking to Megan had become the longest break he’d taken.

Megan looked at him with a hint of disapproval. Not only had he clearly not slept, but he’d been hitting the books the entire time. Megan knew how insomnia was. She pulled all-nighters and days without sleep. Not often and not much any more, but she’d done it. She knew how the worry would eat away at your insides. “Well, since you’re not a magic practitioner, maybe your finding the stuff you need but not recognizing that’s what you need,” she suggested, not trying to say that he was failing or something in it. “Perhaps write up what you’ve found so far and see if you could pass it on to someone who knows magic that can help put you in the right direction. Or they could take it and know what to piece together.” She pushed a few stray strands of hair out of her face and shoved her hands in the pockets of her denim shorts. “Or, I dunno, make a chart? You like flow-charts? That could help. I could help you look for stuff, if you wanted.” She needed to get out of the house and she needed something to do to keep from going out of her mind.

Dorian held up one of the charts he’d already made for Megan to see. “I started going down that route about four hours in,” he told her, looking tired again. “I said I’d be able to figure out building blocks, I just really truly have no idea how it’s going to wind up. I don’t want to mess this up.” Hunt’s mind and Caleb’s life depended on it. “I dunno if I need help, as much as I like having you here, there’s not much to help with.”

She shouldn’t have been surprised to see him already working on that. If he hadn’t, she’d’ve been surprised then. “Well, I guess all you can do is put together what you can understand and someone who knows how to do magic’ll just have to take the pieces and build something from them. You shouldn’t beat yourself over it if you’re stuck. You may have just been able to do all that you can.” She found herself trying to be Reasonable there, channelling Oz and Thia there to try help Dorian. “Do you want me to stick around?” she offered, not minding if he just needed someone to stick around. “If you have anything else written up for the intranet, I could post it for you. You know, be the ghostwriter.” Because sometimes that’s what you needed. Someone to just sit with you to make you feel lest hopeless and alone and keep your head in the game.

Dorian knew she was right. Hunt was a smart guy and he’d be better at the practical issue of the spell than Dorian would, but Dorian wanted to fix this, on his own. Prove that knowledge could make him the guy who helped out, not just the nerd with the books who died first. Glancing up at the clock he kept on the wall, he frowned. Of course it didn’t work. Kayos seemed to have left her mark all over. Sighing he closed his computer and gathered the stack of notes he’d been working on, reaching below the counter to find his shoulder bag. “How about you walk me home?” he asked, packing everything up and looking around for his jacket.

“Sure.” She could do that too. She recalled him saying that he had moved to the house the other day and Megan didn’t know where that was, but she was sure she could find it by scent trail. Not that she was going to in that moment. “Do you need me to carry anything while we’re at it?” She realized that she wasn’t wearing any shoes and went to grab her flip flops and slide them back on while he looked around for whatever it was he was looking for.

Eventually finding the jacket discarded on the back of a chair, he slipped it on, coming back to the counter to get his bag and the box of cookies she’d given him. “No, taking a real break, leaving stuff here.” Draping the bag over his shoulder her fished out his keys and led the way out of the front door, killing the lights and locking in behind them.

Megan kept her features in their familiar blankness, pleased to hear that Dorian was going to get himself rested. She waited patiently for him to lock the door up then fell in step beside him as they headed down the street. People were cleaning things up still. She’d noticed that some business had a couple of broken windows and debris was littered around but she didn’t ask Dorian what had happened, figuring something had swept through while they were gone. “Are you moving out of your apartment?” she asked after a little while.

Dorian tucked his hands into his pockets as they walked. At her question he frowned, pace changing a little as he hesitated in answering. “I don’t know,” he finally settled on. “Originally it was Cay and Math living together and I was trying to stay out of the way, but when Math left...I was going to move in so he wouldn’t be alone. Now...” Now it was just an empty place with just Dorian there. “When he gets back...” God, he really hoped Caleb got back.

“When he gets back, then you can still live there,” she said simply because there would be no dwelling on the possibility that Caleb might not come back. Caleb would come back. Megan still kept her pace, which, thanks to Dorian’s much longer strides, meant that she was still on pace with him. “These days, family needs to stick together. And I think it’ll be less lonely if you move in with your brothers.” Not that it would be lonely now, with the house being empty, but when everyone came back.

If everyone comes back, Dorian couldn’t help but think. It was almost enough to have him turn back to the store so he could keep working on Hunt’s issues. So he could send Caleb some help. Cringing he just nodded, continuing to move forward towards the house.

“Do you want me to stay?” The offer was sudden but it was the best (and only thing) Megan could offer. She’d done if for Dean when Thia had gone to Manchester. She could do the same for another friend in need. She didn’t think Dorian would take her up on the offer, but she wanted to put it on the table anyway. She could keep an eye on him then too. Make sure he took breaks and didn’t work himself to death.

Part of Dorian really wanted her to stay, he wanted her to move in so he wouldn’t be alone for the next six days, but he resisted. “Nah I’m alright,” he told her, reaching out to put a hand on her head again. “Thanks though.”

Megan’s eyes rolled up as if she could see the hand on her head. “Are you trying to pat me?” she asked seriously. “Do you want me to go change in an alley so we can play fetch?” It wasn’t that she minded it, but it something she was a bit curious about.

Dorian chuckled as he pulled his hand away, tucking it back in his pocket. “No that’s not it, just trying...” He trailed off with a small frown, not sure what he was trying. Trying to be there? Trying to seem supportive? Trying to show he cared? Really he had no idea what it was, just that he was making an effort.

“I was joking,” she clarified, because he seemed to have missed it. The guy was half dead anyway so Megan wasn’t incredibly concerned about it. “So the other day, I threatened this girl, Nic, with bodily harm because I sorta thought that’s what friends or siblings did to others and I got in trouble for it. And Oz was telling me how I need to start trying to be more personable and social if I want to be part of the pack.” Megan shoved her hands in her pockets like he did and looked down at the chipped blue polish on her toes. That hadn’t been a fun conversation and the threat of being removed from the pack still made her feel kind of sick. “So I’m trying to be more obvious about stuff, I guess. Apparently I’m closed off or something.” She glanced up at Dorian for a second before looking away again. She knew he was trying to do whatever it was... just trying to be a good friend and she was trying to be a good friend back.

“The Nic who was with us?” Dorian asked, also thinking that Nic was his brother’s ex, which gave him a lot of insight on her. “I wouldn’t say you’re closed off, more hard to read. But then I wonder if you and I have a different relationship than you do with most people.” So much of their history involved Megan just coming by the store and being there. There wasn’t a need for conversation. “As for the threatening part, it’s sort of what friends and siblings do, but there’s a thin line there. Like if you had a boyfriend, I would be the one threatening him with bodily harm if he broke your heart.”

Megan nodded. “Yeah, her. She’s one of Dean’s friends.” She chose not to say anything about Nic being a protector, of her life being tied to Dean’s survival. She wasn’t a gossip and she didn’t think being a protector was something that she should go telling people about it, although she was positive that Dorian could tell her more about it. “We’re cool now. I like her. But I guess it was one of those I was busy freaking out and instead of doing what I usually do, I took it out on her. I bitched her out after she healed me.” Megan shook her head, ashamed of that behavior. She knew better, yes, but still. That was a total dick move. For what Dorian said about their friendship, she nodded again, understanding that. “I’m the stray you picked up, is all,” she said. The stray who was desperately trying to figure out what the hell was up. “Tad was the first sort of friend I made outside of the pack. I don’t really know how it happened. We hang out sometimes. Play video games, but he’s got his own friends. People he goes to school with. I don’t always know if he likes hanging out with me or not. I usually don’t say much. I don’t tell him about myself. I offer an ear. I don’t know. And Dean and Thia... I’d kill for them. They get it. Dean gets my wolf stuff. Thia, I don’t always know how to act around her, but she pack and stuff is getting better. I think we can understand each other more.” She felt better about her friendship with the girl after that email exchange, although the opportunity to talk still hadn’t come up. “But they all go to school or went to school. They have other friends. And I guess... I dunno. I don’t know if I can live up to those other people. That I’m not who a friend should be. And I try.” Megan looked at Dorian again, a slight frown on her face. “I guess I feel like you don’t expect me to do stuff. It’s perfectly okay to just hang in the store and we don’t have to say anything for hours. And you may not be a wolf, you may not live with pack, but you understand, I guess.” She wasn’t sure how to word it. In theory, Dean understood wolf behavior, but, thinking back to Oz’ conversation about her getting in her own way, and thinking about Dorian’s dilemmas with demon and human, perhaps he understood what she was going through better than she did. Still, Megan couldn’t find the best way to say that. “You’d defend my honor, huh?”

“Nic’s friends with Caleb too I think,” Dorian offered, having put together that she was in fact the protector girl his brother used to date. He wanted to protest that she wasn’t just a stray, that if she was he was too, but he didn’t letting her explain her other friendships. “I don’t think your friends expect much from you either Megan. Other than just being there as a friend, which you obviously were,” he explained, insinuating their little adventure as a true test of friendship. Running a hand through his hair Dorian couldn’t help but smile. “Well really if anyone is going to understand without being part, I guess it’d be me. I’ve read about it a lot. I know what it’s like to be different too, and you and I found a common ground, we both like to learn. It works out for us. Just because we don’t talk a ton doesn’t mean we aren’t communicating.” At her last question he gave her his best strong guy look. “Of course I would! Someone has got to.”

Megan actually chuckled at that, shaking her head in amusement. “So I guess you and Dean can both warn my eventual mate not to break my heart, huh?” She tried to think of Dorian telling a full grown werewolf not to hurt her. It was kind of funny. She tried to picture Dean doing it, but she wasn’t entirely sure if she could see him in that position, let alone see herself in a situation where that sort of thing would come up. “I don’t know how good of an idea it would be, but the sentiment is still appreciated.” Megan offered him a small smile -- again trying the whole emotional thing. “I try to be there and listen. Offer a word in when I think I can but I guess I still feel like I’m not living up to what’s wanted? It’s easy when no one talks. Like when Dean lived at the commune for awhile, I have this huge train set in the basement and we’d just hang out for hours on end putting stuff together. Thia would come down and make trees and stuff. And there’d be some talking, but it was just hanging out.” Megan frowned. “I think this might actually be the longest conversation I’ve had with someone.” Someone who wasn’t Oz. Her and Oz weren’t friends, per say. He was her alpha. They talked, but it wasn’t like they hung around together watching movies. “It’s easy with you. Because of common ground.”

“Following through on the threat would be the dangerous part,” he pointed out with another smile. She’d used the term ‘mate’ instead of boyfriend, which led Dorian to think she actually meant another wolf, so yes, not a good idea. “Maybe you don’t have to be the talker of the group, you can just be there. Like how I’m not the fighter.”

“Yeah, I know.” Megan shrugged as her and Dorian turned down a side street. She still kept in step with him despite the fact that she didn’t know where they were going. “It’s hard. I want to do better but it’s hard.” So many things were difficult and she thought of Dorian’s charts, of the talks she had with Sophie, and wondered if she should make a list someday of what bothered her. Getting in your own way. Megan fell quiet, unsure if she should bring that up with Dorian until she knew more. Or maybe when things had settled down, she could talk with Dean.

Reaching out Dorian touched Megan’s shoulder lightly. “I think you do fine. Probably better than you think. Just go with what feels right, except the threatening people part, and be there when you can. That’s about all you can do.” Not that Dorian was really the best with personal relationships, but that had been his motto with Kayos and so far trying not to think too much had helped.

“That’s what being a friend is,” she said, although there was a a questioning tone in that. Nic had also said something similar. That you be there and do what you could. “And I figure if the world is going the way it’s been lately, if I feel like threatening something, I can just wait a few weeks and rip something’s head off.”

“That’s most of it,” Dorian agreed with a nod, slowing as they approached his place. “Sadly, I think that’s true. But if you miss out on tearing something up, you can always call. I’ll be around.” He certainly wasn’t about to go out and be the hero somewhere.

“So I can tear you up?” she asked, teasing him dryly, nudging his arm back with hers.

“No,” he told her grinning with it. They were at his driveway so he brought them to a halt, not heading in just yet. “But we can talk about it, and why you want to threaten someone.”

“So you’ll be my anger management counselor?” she asked, stopping as he did and looked at the house. It was pretty. Nothing like the main house where she lived, but then, there were more than three people living in that house. “I’d appreciate that.” She looked at Dorian, crossing her arms over her chest as she regarded him. “So, does this mean we’re going steady since I walked you home or did I have to carry your books too?” It was said in all seriousness although she was joking with him.

“Contrary to popular belief, you are, in fact, still too young for me,” Dorian teased, giving her a look. “Just being your friend,” he reminded her, giving her a smile. “Thanks for walking with me. I’m hoping to crash for a few hours, then back at it. I’ll likely be at the store all night if you need something,” he said before walking up the yard to the house.

Megan wasn’t sure if he understood the joke or not, considering how tired he was, so she didn’t protest or anything. “Six hours, Dor!” she called after him. “Six hours and no less. I’m timing it now!” She would if the time on her cellphone would work but now, for some reason, it was saying it was 54:96, which wasn’t an actual time. So she’d just track the sun or something. “I’ll check on you later.”

Dorian was actually only considering maybe four hours, two if he could swing it, but he guessed that he’d probably need four. It was a waste of time, valuable time that Caleb needed, but that didn’t mean he could go on forever without resting. “See ya then,” he called out, waving at her over his shoulder before letting himself in the house.