the first full moon

who: hayley and bradley
where: the commune
when: full moon

It was the evening of the full moon. Moonrise wasn't for a little bit yet, not that long, but Hayley was already in the cage in the basement at the commune. She'd been told that there should be a cage in her own home by the time the next one rolled around, or some other arrangements could be made, depending on what she wanted. Oz kept telling her she needed to be there with them, but he didn't push so hard that he insisted.

He'd walked her through what would happen, and brought her the robe she wore now, her real clothes left safely outside of the cage itself, so she didn't ruin them. She felt vulnerable, in a way she couldn't possibly describe. She was caged and practically naked. And in a little while, she was going to turn into a monster. How had her life even gotten here?

She'd asked for time to herself, even if people wanted to hover. She'd not seen either of the boys, thankfully, even if she really wished she could have their support right now. She didn't deserve it, in her own estimation. So it wasn't as if she was looking for it. She'd told Bradley to take care of Misha, to think things over, and if he still wanted to talk to her later, he could. He hadn't. So....maybe he wasn't going to. Curling up on the blanket that had been left in the cell, she stared at the bars sideways, expression blank.

Bradley had completely ignored what Oz had said about Hayley wanting to be alone. And given how easy it had been to slip into the basement, he was almost sure that Oz had given him the chance to do just that. He knew she was here, he could feel her and ignoring her was just wrong. So he let himself into the basement, moving slow so he didn’t scare her, drifting towards the cage. “Hey,” he greeted, voice soft, not sure what to make of her curled up like that.

She heard him coming, then caught his scent before she saw him. She didn't move, not altering her gaze to look at him when he spoke. "I don't want you to see me like this." she told him, voice barely audible. Which was true, even if part of her wanted to get up and rush to the bars, pulling him as close as she could. That wouldn't help anything.

Bradley shook his head, moving over towards the cage, sitting down on the floor by the bars, as close as he could get without touching them. “Doesn’t matter. I’m here no matter what remember?” Pulling his knees up a little he rested he arms on his knees.

She could feel him there, and hated that she could. It didn't make her feel better, it made her feel worse. More vulnerable, more needy. "How's Misha been?" she asked lightly, masochistically throwing that out there because otherwise she might just crawl over closer to him.

He shrugged one shoulder, looking at his shoes. “Mad. But...I think it’s getting better. Slowly but we’re getting there.” Bradley wasn’t pushing her, wasn’t forcing anything more than just him being there on her. It didn’t quell the urge to reach through the bars for her, make her come closer, but he was able to keep it in check for now.

"He still hate me?" she asked, this time looking closer to him. She still wasn't looking at him, but she was starting to get there. She knew she wasn't going to be strong enough to keep her eyes averted the whole time, but she was trying to hold out as long as she could. But that draw towards him was there, clear in her mind, in her urges, her instincts.

Bradley shook his head. “He’s likely still mad, but I don’t think he hates you. I don’t think he ever did.” But they hadn’t talked about that. They’d talked about Bradley and Misha and Bradley and Hayley, not Misha and Hayley. “Do you still not want me around?”

Hayley flat out didn't believe Bradley on that score, and thought that he wouldn't really ever understand. "Did I ever say I didn't want you around?" she asked, not sure about it. She didn't think she'd ever put things like that, but she couldn't be positive of anything just now. That did have her pushing up on one hand, looking in his direction properly. Her long hair hid most of her features, but it wasn't a perfect cloaking device.

He thought about that for a moment. “I’m not certain. You left, then you told me to leave. Even if you didn’t say it, it felt like it.” Not that it had stopped him from coming down here tonight nor would it keep him from staying, no matter how scary it got. His eyes finally left his shoes, looking over at her even if her eyes were partially shaded.

She didn't know what to say to that. In the end she nodded, and looked down. "I suppose I told you that if you still wanted to talk to me when I got here, that you could." she said. "So, do you have something you want to talk to me about?" she asked, not even sure that was the right way to go about it. But she didn't know any other way, and she was so drained emotionally from the past few days she felt a little dead inside.

“That part I remember. You said if I was still determined when you came back that I could be here.” He looked at her again even if she’d looked away. “I’m here now.” Sighing just slightly he leaned his head back against the wall. “I missed you.”

I missed you too. Was her immediate response, though she didn't give it voice. She looked at him again, however, let herself really take him in. "You don't look like you've been sleeping very well." she told him. It made her want to get closer again, and she did actually drift slightly closer, though she didn't physically move towards him enough that she had to shift her weight or move across the floor.

He wanted her to say it back. To tell him it wasn’t right without him there either. Shaking his head. “No. I...” Bradley closed his eyes for a moment then opened them. “Nightmares. And waking doesn’t seem to give the same relief,” he admitted quietly. It was another sign of weakness, but Hayley seemed to accept those.

"Isn't there someone to talk to about nightmares?" Hayley asked. "I was told to talk to Billy if mine didn't calm down after I was attacked..." she trailed off, giving up resisting and she crawled over towards him, all the more aware of the idea that she wasn't wearing proper clothing at the moment. She stopped just on the other side of the bars from him, and curled her legs beneath herself. "I'm sure there's something someone can do."

Bradley frowned a little. No one had mentioned something, but then he’d been quiet about them. His brothers knew but they’d help keep the secret for a while. “No one but the others know,” he wound up telling Hayley, surprised she was moving closer. With her right there he couldn’t resist, reaching through the bars for her hand, needing to hold on to her, to feel grounded again.

She didn't stop him, seeing him reach through to touch her. She reached out as well, almost feeling disconnected from everything as she did so. Like it wasn't her who was choosing to turn her hand over to grasp his, to put her other over his, feeling the warmth of his skin there. But then everything had felt like that lately--disconnected. Like she wasn't real, like she was a shadow or a ghost. "Tell Billy. There's no reason you should keep having them. They shouldn't be a secret, they should be gone."

He barely heard what she was saying, too caught up in that contact between them, like something finally clicked into place. Already he wanted to move in closer, to hold her so she couldn’t leave again. “I missed you,” he repeated.

"I missed you too." she told him, this time not really able to hold it back. She felt horrible about everything still, but she had missed him. He'd been such a constant presence in her life for a while that she'd gotten so used to him being there. With him abruptly so absent, things had been off feeling for her as well. Ticking her eyes up to his, she didn't say anything for a few long moments, just holding and actually maintaining the eye contact.

When she said it the words cut right to his core and he felt all the need for her well up in him. She’d been his other grounding rod, something tying him to Marquette, to this place that wasn’t home. He’d finally felt like he’d stopped running, like he was safe enough to take care of someone else. As she fell silent he closed the last of the space there, leaning against the bars, trying to get closer to her.

It was the natural reaction to follow suit, or that was what it felt like to her. She did lean closer, shifting to crawl that little bit of space so she was up against the bars, reaching through as much as she could to get closer. It occurred to her that she had no idea what she was even doing, but it was instinct more than anything else that had her acting like that. It made her feel better, even if she couldn't have explained why.

“I’m not leaving,” he finally said, resting his head as close to hers as he could get it. Closing his eyes he stayed there, wishing he could just be locked up inside with her, to stay there with her, keeping her close and safe.

"I don't want you to see me like this though," she protested, even if she was clinging to the guy. She couldn't help it, she felt like everything was crumbling, and he was a steady spot. She did manage to get her arm through the bars, as around his shoulder as she could. They were spaced pretty far apart, enough that there was room to do that. She rested her forehead against his, even.

He shook his head, even if it was just a small amount since she was so close. “I don’t care. I need to be here. To make sure.” That she was safe and that she was secure. It hurt that he had to ensure that part, but he could make good use of it. “And when it’s over I’ll still be here.”

"I can't convince you to leave me?" she asked, voice small. She wanted to be closer than she was, but she couldn't do it. She already was as close as she could get and she knew that was bad. She didn't know when she'd change, though she knew it was a process, not instantaneous. So he'd be safe. Probably. God.

“You haven’t yet,” he told her because she hadn’t. She’d been trying, even the break between them, he was sure that was another attempt, but he wasn’t giving up. Not when he’d made a promise. As muddled as his mind was these days what he did know was that promise and he was staying true to it.

That actually made her smile, just a touch, and she pulled back enough to show him. "I've tried." she said. She didn't know what this meant. And part of her really wanted to hammer out some decision there, but now wasn't the time. Right now, she just wanted the support, wanted him there even if part of her was horrified by it as well. "You realize that you're probably going to...um...see more of me than before, right?" she asked.

“You should stop trying,” Bradley said gently, returning her smile with something a little stronger than hers. Like always he was just happy to see her smile. It took a moment for his confused mind to process what she was saying but once it sank in he felt his cheeks go warm. “I’ve seen quite a bit already,” he tried, not feeling like it had much behind it, but she had pulled her shirt off in front of him before. It wasn’t the same as this would be of course and just the thought made him anxious. Tapping into the Ranger he sat up a touch straighter. “I’ll attempt to maintain my dignity and yours.”

She saw his cheeks go red, and thought it was kind of cute. Even if she was probably meant to be pushing him away and not thinking things like that. Nothing had changed, this still wasn't a workable situation. And yet, she wanted to tug him back closer again since he'd sat up. "You haven't seen the whole package." she told him. Which he probably would now. Definitely after she changed back in the morning, asleep, which she was told would happen. Eventually she'd just fall asleep, and wake up all unclothed. And if he was truly planning on being there the whole time...

His face was getting warmer and he had to look away this time, running a hand through his hair. “I hope you’re not still trying to convince me to leave again...” he said just to fill the space and to try and get other thoughts into his head. It was a high unfortunate situation and not anything that should be bringing those thoughts but occasionally there was no avoiding being a teenaged boy.

She smiled a touch. "Just...giving you fair warning." she decided. She sat back herself, glancing back at the cage, then to him. "I don't think it'll be much longer." she told him, changing subjects. She was sort of overly aware of the robe around her form, what it was hiding and wouldn't be hiding after a while.

He was doing his best not to have the same thought or to actually just stare at her in the robe. Nodding he reached for her hand again, wanting to pull her close even if she’d just sat back. “Okay. I’ll be here. The whole time. Though probably more there,” he pointed towards the space behind him.

"Don't come anywhere near the cage after it starts." she told him. "Not anywhere near at all. I don't want to accidentally claw at you and actually hit you. You don't want this." She didn't even want to think about inflicting this on anyone. She definitely didn't think Bradley wanted it. It would just...she didn't even know. She started feeling something then, a shift in her stomach, a tingle along her spine. With it, she immediately let go of him and scrambled back as far as she could from him, her back smacking against the concrete wall that formed the fourth wall of the cage.

Bradley kept nodding, squeezing her hand before she suddenly pulled away and backed up towards the far wall. When she did it, he got up moving back to the opposite wall, facing her still but sitting with his knees up again, hands tangled in his hair. He had to watch, he owed her that, no matter how scared he was. She needed to know he wouldn’t fail her. “When it’s over,” he breathed again, almost certain she’d hear him no matter how far away she was.

She did hear him, though it felt distant. It felt like everything was distant. She abruptly felt overheated, like someone had turned up the heat in her body by a ridiculous factor. She clawed at the robe she was wearing, though it wasn't with purpose, as she started to see red. And that was where Hayley lost out, and everything went black for her. Whatever took over was in charge at that point, the change rocketing through her as the werewolf emerged.

He watched her, fingers clenching his hair enough to hurt, but he watched the whole change. Out of habit and his own defense mechanisms, part of him detached. The Ranger playing the game in play surfaced, keeping his mind intact as the girl he cared so much about shifted from herself to what lurked inside her. It took the breath from his lungs, and something stung at his eyes though he didn’t realize they were tears until he reached up to wipe them away. There wasn’t any point in crying, he didn’t know why he was, but he could sense that sinking fear buried beneath the Ranger who feared so little. Even if he’d wanted to run he couldn’t. He was glued to where he was, sitting on the floor, watching what had happened, seeing the monster she kept claiming she was.

The werewolf raged all night. It wasn't til heading towards dawn that she calmed down some, curling up on the floor of the cell, and after a while she fell asleep. It was shortly after dawn that the shift back took place, leaving her thin, pale, bare form on the floor.

There was no avoiding the trauma of watching it. Bradley bore it, letting it swirl around him, not able to sleep even after she calmed down. When she changed back he didn’t get up right away, waiting just a little longer, just to be sure. After a few moments, when she was still the girl, he got up, gathering her clothes from where they’d been left and carrying them back towards her. His cheeks were pink, eyes slightly red rimmed from tears, but otherwise he was just tired looking. Moving close to the bars he watched her rest for a moment, taking in the expanse of pale skin of her back and side. “Hayley.” His voice was tight, rough with what he’d been through and exhaustion.

She stirred immediately, not fully waking for a moment but the moment he spoke, she twitched. Then she opened her eyes and looked around in confusion, though it cleared fairly readily. She immediately sat up and reached for the nearest thing she could grab--which happened to be the blanket that had been left in the cell. holding it in front of her to cover her nudity, she looked up at Bradley, noting his state on a number of levels. She smelled his tears, she could hear a slight rattle in his breathing. He looked a wreck. "Are you okay?" she asked, because that seemed the thing to do, even if it was her who'd just been through the trauma.

He couldn’t help the sigh of relief as she sat up, not really focusing on her lack of clothing until she covered herself up. Swallowing, he shook his head. “That’s my question to ask you,” he reminded her then held out her clothes. “Are you alright?”

She shook her head, since she felt the need to be honest. Getting up gingerly, she noticed that she felt physically absolutely exhausted. Like she'd been in a fight all night--which she sort of had, so that likely made sense. She took the few steps over to him, reaching for her clothes. "The key is on the wall over there." she said, pointing to where it hung, well out of reach of anyone inside the cage.

When she shook her head he practically broke, wanting to pull the bars apart to get to her. He handed her clothes over, looking to where she pointed and after a long moment of lingering with her he pulled away. Moving across the room he grabbed the key, giving her a moment to change before heading back to the lock. It was heavy, and now Bradley really understood why as he put his strength into opening it and pushing the door open. He didn’t go in right away, not sure if he should or if he should wait for her to come to him.

She quickly pulled her clothes on, though she'd gone for comfortable things as she'd been instructed to. She could understand why, they'd told her that she'd feel exhausted, that anything too restrictive or tight would just aggravate that. So she had some comfortable pajama pants and an old tshirt that was soft and worn. When the cage door opened, she looked at it for a long moment before she made her way out of it, not sure what she expected but she knew it wasn't the emotional sort of numbness she had going on. It was a state of discontent and exhaustion, but she couldn't pinpoint it further than that.

Bradley was sure he’d forgotten how to breath once she was close. He held one hand out to her, giving her space to come to him, or just walk past. “What can I do?” he asked, needing to help her when she looked like that, so beaten down.

"I don't know." she said quietly, honestly. Hayley looked at his offered hand before she took it, stepping closer. Right now she didn't have the strength to go it alone, even if she knew she probably should. But after that, after last night, she truly needed the support. And hell, he looked like he did too. She stepped in close to him, resting her head against his shoulder as she loosely put her arms around his middle. "I wish you hadn't stayed. It looks like it was hard for you."

There wasn’t any thought involved in the way he clung to her. It was just a reaction to her arms around him. His arms went around her shoulders, holding her against him, eyes closed as he leaned his head towards hers. “I couldn’t leave you. No matter how difficult the trial.”

'The Trial'. She was guessing he was in Ranger mode again. Probably in direct response to how hard it was to see a werewolf trying to thrash at him for hours, knowing it was her. She couldn't even comment on it, but it made her feel so utterly, utterly alone. And that's really what started her crying, a sniffle at first, and she still clung to him, but she started crying hard.

Crying was not good. The kind of not good that Bradley wasn’t equipped to handle in any form of his mind and he felt himself start to panic a little. “No, don’t, don’t cry.” The panic shifted things, leaving him close to flailing, searching for some aspect of him that would be able to handle her so upset. Somewhere in it, the boy he’d been before all of it, the one who Bradley was certain was lost for good, surfaced. “I’m here now,” he promised, voice steadier than before, but not with the false tone it had when he was the Ranger. He tightened his grip on her, head resting against hers. “I never left. Not once.”

She heard the difference, wasn't sure where it came from, but it was there. And it eased some of her crushing loneliness to hear it. His arms around her felt steadier like his voice, and she calmed some, a reaction that was very much in response to the change in him, even if she didn't realize it. "I'm sorry you had to see any of that, I'm sorry about everything." she said, feeling like she needed to apologize to the world and everyone in it.

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Bradley said, surprised at the memories of his brother it brought back, memories of hearing the same words out of Colin’s mouth after fights with their father. “I chose to be here, I’m still here.” Different memories, different images were starting to come to light, losing the veil of the fantasy, but unlike before, when he’d remembered the bad, these weren’t shocking, they just were. His friends, his sports, his life before all of it. It eased his breathing, just a little more than it had been before, nothing more than having a calming effect on him.

She curled up a little more firmly against him, drawing in deep breaths and letting them out slowly. "How bad is it?" she asked, voice barely audible, though she was calmer still. He truly was helping, and that was obvious. Now she was left with the exhaustion and emotional trauma to sort through. But the immediate storm was passing. "What did I look like?"

With the muddled mess of his persona, Bradley was surprisingly able to hold on to his true self, despite her asking about moments when he’d been, for all purposes, someone else. While the Ranger might have claimed bravado or the boy who’d seen the worst have lied to her, Bradley was more the honest type, at least to everyone but himself and his father. “Scary,” he admitted. “You seemed angry.” Closing his eyes for a moment he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Big, really big. Kind of like the movies, with fur that was different colors. Like brown and gray. Very wolf-like.”

She hadn't thought about what color she might be. Though she guessed she had fur, so...yeah. She nodded slightly. "You don't ever have to sit through that again." she told him, finally drawing back a little, after she reached up to wipe at her eyes. "It's too much to ask anyone." Not that she'd asked him, he'd just done it, but still.

Bradley looked down at her, eyes a clear blue like water despite the redness from his own tears. “You didn’t ask me to, I decided I was. And I’d do it again if it helps.” He let go of her with one hand, wiping at her tears as well. “I hate seeing you hurting.” All of it, what he’d really felt in terms that made sense was hitting him. It was like stepping into the light. He was smitten with Hayley. Completely smitten, no matter what had just happened. Her hurting, made him hurt and all he wanted now was to make her smile. “Tell me how to fix it. What would make you feel better?”

"I don't know." she said honestly, reaching up to swipe a thumb across his cheek, helping with his tears. It was an automatic reaction, even if a second later she thought she should have not done so. She didn't try to take it back, however. "I feel..." she shook her head. "I don't even know, I can't describe anything besides 'exhausted'."

Bradley caught her hand holding it against his cheek for a moment, just as automatic a movement as hers. He liked that, her hand against his skin. “Exhausted is fixable,” he said, slightly relieved that it was. “You can go rest, your room is still your room.”

She shook her head. "No, I left, and...I think I should stay gone." she said, glancing around the room. She spotted the big couch in the living area away from the cage. The basement sort of had a ton of space, part of it had been where there was a model train set up but that had gotten torn down. But there was a living area as well. So she started over towards it, reaching behind her to take Bradley's hand and take him with her.

Bradley hated hearing that, not wanting her to leave him again. When she pulled away he felt it physically, but then she took his hand and he almost breathed an audible sigh of relief again. “How gone is gone?” he ventured, sitting down on one end of the couch once they were there.

She waited til he was seated, then she crawled onto the cushion next to him, laying down to rest her head on his lap. It made her feel better, and she'd been told to go with her instincts on that score. That sometimes fighting it was the wrong thing to do, and pointless. So she didn't, she did what she wanted to. "I don't know." she said. "It's always going to be there. Misha, I mean. He'll always be around, and I am sure he won't want to see me around, ever. And there's still the part where there's considerations for you and him."

Her head in his lap was a little shocking, but he didn’t stop her. For a long moment he wasn’t sure what to do, but eventually he ran his hands through her hair. “He said he wasn’t ready to be around us, but that eventually he might be okay with it.” Which, with Hayley here, so close to him, it was what he wanted, for everything to work out in the end. He wanted things to be okay, for them to balance out in a way that kept Hayley close to his side in some way.

She caught the 'might' there. "Doesn't sound hopeful, Bradley." she said. "And I'm not going to make him put up with me if he doesn't have to. I'm not that cruel, and neither are you." she told him. Her voice was quiet, but slightly more relaxed than a moment ago. His hands in her hair felt nice, it was calming, soothing.

When she didn’t move away from his hand he assumed he was doing something right so he kept doing it. “I’m not giving up hope Hayley. You ground me. It’s not right if you’re not here.” He was able to explain it now, now that he was himself. “We can give him time, because I need him too, but I’m going to have a hard time staying away from you.”

"I know you need him. I think I'm the one that needs cutting out of the equation. I feel like I screwed up something I shouldn't have. That I never wanted to mess with at all." She admitted, shifting slightly to look up at him. "I wasn't supposed to fall for you." But she had. Feelings had definitely developed, and that was something she'd been going over and over in her head in the past few days. That no, it was real, and it was there, and even if she knew it was wrong, it was still there.

"Misha and I will be fine. We will work through the anger and be fine. We've been through too much together to not make it out alright in the end." He looked down at her, slowing his fingers in her hair. "I wasn't supposed to either I guess." What could they do about it? It wasn't like they could go backwards, they'd tried that and Bradley had hated every waking second of it.

"It'll just be all the longer if I'm in the picture, continuing to aggravate the situation." she told him. "You might have to just...choose who's most important to you. And I know the answer to that. I'm not going to be angry with you because it's Misha."

Bradley shook his head. "I can't choose. I would have already if I could." It wasn't that Misha wasn't important, wasn't possibly more important, but Hayley was quickly becoming just as important. Picking one would mean giving up part of himself. Feeling more like himself in ages he knew he couldn't give it up. He couldn't give up feeling right, like he did right now. "Why do you want me to? Do you…not want this?"

"It isn't that." Hayley said first. Because that was the truth. She'd definitely figured that out in their time apart. "I just know there isn't a real fix for any of this. I think for you and I to be together, it'll cause Misha pain, and that means we'll not be able to be here, so you'd have to split your time between us, for starters."

He was quiet for a long moment, holding on to the fact that she wanted to be with him. “I would have to split time between you no matter what. I was doing that before.” When he was protecting her he wasn’t always with Misha. If things hadn’t gone awry, Misha wasn’t going to tag along on every outing. “It could work.” He couldn’t help touching her cheek, just lightly.

"I don't know if it will. I can't see a real way for it to happen. Not without things going badly." she told him. Her eyes shut for a moment as he touched her cheek, and she fell quiet. Then she drew in a breath, let it out slowly, and looked up at him again. "Tell me something about you. Or, just tell me about you. Before any of this. Before what happened in Manchester. Who were you before then?" she asked, wanting something to take her mind off of everything else.

“I can’t stop hoping,” he said softly, not sure if he should be admitting that out loud. Her question actually brought out a small smile, being in the right frame of mind to answer the question properly, to remember it properly. “I played lots of sports. Almost every one I could at school. And I did pretty well. When I wasn’t doing that I was playing games with my brothers.”

"You were into sports?" she asked, smiling just a touch. "Were you that guy at school? The handsome, popular guy who was good at everything?" She could picture that, if she ignored the crazy that was the fantasy he'd fallen into. She see it, see him in that sort of role. He was easy on the eyes, of course, but beyond that, she could imagine he was charismatic, and generally the popular guys were the ones who played sports.

Bradley rested one elbow on the back of the couch, and his head in his hand. “No...well maybe. I wouldn’t call myself popular, but I knew a lot of people. I didn’t hang out with Scott and Colin and Misha during school.” Because he’d been on his various sport teams and they’d mostly just been sort of nerds. It never worked out the way it does in cheesy television shows where the jocks eventually hang out with the gamers. That Bradley spent so much time with them in his free time was unheard of.

"So who did you hang out with during school?" she asked. "Bet you had a lot of girlfriends." she added, because she could see that too. She also sort of wondered how the hell she'd happened into his life and there was an attraction factor, but then again, she hadn't met the friendly sports guy, had she? No, she'd met the broken boy playing out a fantasy.

“Teammates mostly. I was pretty close to the crew team,” he explained. His free hand went back to her hair, brushing at it lightly. “Not many girlfriends. One or two and not for long.” He hadn’t had the time to dedicate to a relationship, not with practice and everything else he’d been busy with. He’d had dates to every function he’d needed one for, but wasn’t really the boyfriend type.

"Why not for that long?" she asked. "Weren't interested? Or you were that guy who liked to date a few girls at a time, or just kinda whenever?" she asked. She'd seen that sort of boy too. She'd never really gone out with many boys. Now and then she'd give someone a chance, but they never lasted long, and that was because the inside of a teenage boy's head? Was a very nasty place sometimes. It always put her off when she was trying to hold a conversation and his every other thought had something to do with seeing her naked.

“No, not that guy. Just didn’t have a lot of time and girls get bored after a while when you’re never around.” That and he didn’t feel right sharing the secret love of gaming. Thinking of that had things going muddy for a moment, but he surfaced through it, looking at her again. “What about you, lots of boyfriends?”

Hayley gave a light little almost laugh and she shook her head, cheeks going a little red. "No." she answered honestly. "When you're telepathic, it sort of...let's just say boys are kinda one-track. I never really wanted to spend a lot of time with someone who was only thinking about my boobs, or how he could talk me into letting him touch them." she said, breaking eye contact. "It just kind of made things lonely. Because pretty much all boys were like that. Til I met Mi.." she faltered then, all humor draining from her features. "...Misha." she finished, very quietly.

The almost laugh had Bradley starting to smile, fingers moving in her hair more. What she said had his cheeks warming up a little, because yes, he could see where that train of thought would come from. Odds would have been in favor of Bradley thinking about sports scores or practices or something around her, but occasionally that boob and boob touching thought process was unavoidable. “And he thought more about whether his shoes were untied and how beautiful you are,” Bradley finished for her. He was quiet as well, seeing the humor gone from her and feeling it leave him as well. “If we’d met before, you wouldn’t have noticed me would you?” She had liked Misha first, before everything changed for her, but even the version of himself she’d met originally, the one who hadn’t impressed her, wasn’t the real Bradley buried under all of it.

She nodded when he finished her thought. It wasn't exactly what she would have said, but it was close enough. Misha had been different, and that's what she'd adored about him. Still did, even if her needs had changed. When he asked the question, she shook her head. "I've known a lot of boys like you were saying you were. None of them were....they just weren't very nice." she said. "I'm not saying you weren't. Just that's the category you would have fallen into, so I would have imagined you were the same."

Bradley nodded. It made sense. More sense than her liking him now did. He’d been outwardly confident, put together then, now he was a mess with moments of clarity. “I think I was nice. Maybe not. It’s hard to know those things.” Not without someone on the outside telling him otherwise. He hadn’t beat up the geeks in school or anything of that nature, so maybe that put him more towards the nice scale.

"How come you didn't hang out with the boys?" she asked, watching his expression as she asked it. It was the important part that stood out in his story, and she imagined it would very much answer the question of whether or not he had been nice.

He opened his mouth to explain but closed it again making a face. “I dunno, they didn’t fit in with my teammates and they’re younger. Just didn’t make sense.” In a way he wouldn’t have fit in with them either given his natural athleticism and dedication to his different activities.

"Then you weren't nice. You were someone who let appearances matter more than your friends." Hayley said, though it wasn't with any venom. It was past tense, either way. He wasn't that boy anymore, period, and she didn't hold it against him. "Things are different now, though. You seem to mostly have your priorities straight now."

Bradley slumped a little hearing that even if it was just informing him of it. Outside of school they were still his friends and now, they were his brothers. That was what mattered more than anything else. “Mostly?”

"Still wondering about your insistance that things'll work out with me." she told him. "I get it. It's sweet. And I really really like that you don't want to just give up--trust me, that means so much to me. But...I don't know. Why are you doing it? Even if it might mean things break down with you and Misha?"

He looked away, past her while he thought about it. It was hard to sort out the why behind his actions rather than the need for the action itself. “I have more faith that it won’t break things down with Misha,” he started, frowning. That sounded right when he said it though he wasn’t sure where the thought came from completely. “And this feels right. Being here for you, with you. I feel...normal.” The word almost had him taken aback. He hadn’t felt normal in months. Even when he was on balance as the Ranger, he was never normal. That word had subconsciously never come into his vocabulary.

It surprised her to hear. She imagined it had a pretty heavy connotation in and of itself, even if she wasn't entirely positive how she managed that. Especially with the whole werewolf business, and his pledge to help her with it. How was any of that normal? So, because it mystified her, she had to ask. "...how?"

There was a moment where he shifted uncomfortably, despite her laying on him. It was an insane feeling to have, but it was settling in, that he was, at least in that moment, normal. “I’m...” he trailed off, struggling with the right words. “Like before all of it. That kind of normal.” He drug his hand through his hair, confusion on his face, but not the same. Before it had always been confusion about who he was, this was something else entirely. This was confusion at how he’d wound up himself rather than something else.

"I make you feel normal? ...me, the girl you just watched turn into a monster, who tried to escape a cage in a basement all night, then turned back into a girl?" She kept her eyes on him, that sort of just totally blindsiding her. "That you promised to protect and protect everyone else from. What...what about all of this makes you feel normal?" she asked.

“I don’t know,” he told her honestly. Nothing about it sounded normal, but in the midst of all of it, he’d found normal. “I have no idea. I just..I am. I’m me.” He hated thinking of it like that, using her terms that divided his personalities. Closing his eyes for a moment he took a deep breath and kept the best hold he had on clarity. “It’s still fuzzy, but I remember who I am better.”

"Really?" she asked, sitting up a little. She tilted her head to the side as she watched him, feeling slightly light headed as she'd gotten up and she reached out to steady herself as she pushed herself to her knees. "Before you couldn't?"

Nodding he reached out for her as she sat up, half to help her, half just to keep that contact between them. “It was there, but it wasn’t. I couldn’t think about it like I can now.” He rubbed at his forehead, a movement that was quickly becoming a nervous tick.

She noticed it, and reached up to take his hand, drawing it in towards her chest. "How's it feel?" she asked. "Good? Bad? Or just what you said? Normal?" It was pretty important, and would probably dictate how she treated the situation. She didn't want to make anything worse for him, she never had. But if he was actually starting to break the fantasy for good, and maybe that was a good thing, then...well...

He caught himself reaching for her more, holding her hand tightly and leaning towards her. “Normal...not bad. Comfortable.” It wasn’t a bad thing for sure. Things were making more sense, far more sense and in the moment here, with her, he had a better idea of how to handle being with Hayley and the complicated parts of things.

Comfortable. That she thought was actually a very positive word. One she could accept, at any rate. It made her smile. Sure, it was still a tired sort of expression, but it was very much there, a light curve to her lips. "Sounds nice." she told him, noticing he was getting closer, and she didn't actually stop him.

He was nodding, agreeing that it was nice but more caught up in her smile. It wasn’t until he’d touched her cheek and closed the last of the distance between then that he realized what he’d wanted since the night before. This time it was his turn to kiss her, something hesitant at first, but surer once he’d started. Normal was her, was this, and this was what he wanted.

There was a part of her that thought it was a bad idea, but it was quickly and fully drowned out by everything else. The parts of her that could sense what was going on with him in ways she couldn't actually describe, for one. And it simply felt good. It had felt good before, and it certainly did now, even if she was exhausted. That didn't seem to matter much as she returned the kiss, something a little more confident than his was, even if she generally wasn't all that confident in things she didn't have much experience with. For this, it seemed the natural progression, so that helped, and since becoming a werewolf, instincts were a lot harder to ignore. They weren't just quiet hesitant urges in the back of her mind, they were a lot closer to the surface and louder.

Her confident kiss just spurred his on more, one arm going around her waist to draw her closer, needing her next to him. The hand on her cheek slipped into her hair, keeping her there, so he didn’t have to stop kissing her. There was some experience there to work with, just like before, but with the rush of everything that had got him here, he was making it up as he went. When he broke off finally, needing to catch his breath, he kept her close, forehead against hers, eyes still closed.

Hayley returned it all, reciprocating everything he put into it. And it still all felt good, even if she was aware it shouldn't. She should feel wrong, right? It shouldn't be like this, it should be something that made her feel awful. And in some part of her, it did, but...not enough to make her pull away from him. "Somewhere along the line I think I started needing you." she said, voice barely audible, and the admission was wholly unplanned.

Bradley felt that admission, physically as if she’d drug her fingers down his spine. Nodding slowly, eyes still closed, head close enough to her to bump against her as he moved. “Me too,” he told her, voice just as soft. Opening his eyes finally, he pulled back enough to see hers. “I really do.”

She watched his eyes for a long moment. "Then I guess we figure out how to make it work. And you divide your time between us." she told him, because that was their only option. She still steadfastly refused to be anywhere near Misha. Not knowing how much he probably hated her, and she wasn't going to flaunt anything where he had to see it. She wouldn't do that to him, period. Maybe it would all crash. She didn't know. But right now...if what they'd just told each other was true? They had to at least try. With that thought she pulled him in to kiss him again.

“I can do that,” he told her, voice full of promise, just like every other vow he’d ever made her. He would make it work, no matter what it took. He went with her, kissing her back, holding her closer, willing to give in to this for the moment, to let this be the first step. After it they could sort out where it left them, how they managed the time.