Journal Entry Deux

Okay, I’ll go with the easy and admit that I hated the fog. It was very silent hill, and I’m sure we all know how that game turns out. And wouldn’t that be absolutely beautiful? Not very far off course, I’d say. We’ve already got the vampires and werewolves and demons and fucking angels fucking with shit. Now we have strange fog shit too? So yeah, I wasn’t a fan.

I’m also not a fan of new york. Not because it’s a crap place or the people are… well the person I met was too positive. I talked with a guy yesterday, and everybody seems to agree that people aren’t really sticking their heads in the sand, they’re just surviving. And in a species like ours, surviving is what they need to do most. Some people just aren’t fighters and that’s okay - because, as long as you’re surviving, shit should be real fucking gravy.

It makes sense. The cockroach isn’t a fighter, but look at him go right? Has anything been around longer than the cockroach and the bee? They’re just survivors; and passive aggressive. That poor bee though - I’m sure he feels like he has a sharp little weapon on him, but his blade is always double edged… poetic; He can’t hurt without hurting himself.

Anyway, it makes sense, but fighters die. What happens when all of your fighters march out to war or whatever, and they just die? Would you really want to be on the side of that? Surviving the hell out of shit, until the people your fighters failed to kill come after you next? And we’re not talking war here, though maybe we should be - with how Vietnam went. We’re talking predators and survival for them. They’re just doing it better than us. I’m all for humans preserving themselves, but if it were me, I’d rather preserve myself instead of letting some other dude fight for me. Some people aren’t built that way but - well. I don’t know. It just doesn’t make sense. Smudge out your innocence and build yourself that way. Do what you gotta do. Arguably, perhaps that’s what they already are doing. I just see this massive apocalypse kicking their assses because they think the doing what they have to do is sitting there la-de-fucking-daing it.

I do have a positive thought though. And here it is, brace yourself, it’s pretty positive:

You know how sometimes a cat will just sprawl out wherever they are. Just lay down a bed or the floor, or a sidewalk. And there’s another cat there, hovering over it; pestering the fuck out of it, all coy like - just cleaning the shit out its neck or head or something? Well. I think that’s pretty fucking beautiful.

I’m also pretty grateful we’re not all pod people by now. There’s about a billion books about how these aliens or monsters or the government come and just take over your minds and turn you into servants and if you knew about it you could probably stop it, but you never really know until they’re there and your mind is theirs and then you don’t really know anything anymore anyway. People might be pretending like shit isn’t shit, but they still have their own thoughts and that’s probably the most beautiful thing I could ever think of. Even in the face of death, we have a mind to pretend - because we have a mind at all.