Surprise visit

Who: Annabell and Hayley
When: Night
Where: Annabell's place

After she'd packed her things, left the notes and quietly slipped out, Hayley continued to walk the long way into town, head hung as she did so. She was at a total loss, feeling so emotionally awful that she barely paid attention to anything around her. She was so buried in her thoughts that she barely even noticed that she'd arrived at her cousin's house, and she stood outside that door for a few long moments as well. Her aunt and uncle would be sleeping, probably. But the sun room was probably open, right? So she walked around to the back of the house to the sun room, where there were plants flourishing everywhere, so thick you could barely see inside.

Slipping in, she set her backpack on the floor, and merely sat down on one of the wicker chairs, staring at nothing until she abruptly burst into a fresh round of tears.

Annabell had been in the kitchen, making herself a cup of tea before she headed into the sun room again to just meditate before bed, but the sound in the room surprised her. Tea in hand, she rounded the corner of the room and saw Hayley there, tears in her eyes. And nothing else mattered. She hurried into the room, putting the tea down quickly and spilling some on the table before reaching for cousin instantly to pull her into a hug. All she saw was her cousin upset, her cousin crying, and for now everything else could wait. All the questions could wait on their lists until Hayley wasn't crying. "Hey....Hayley...you're here now. Everything will be fine..."

Hayley instantly clinged to Annabell, letting herself cry pretty hard for a few minutes before she even attempted an answer. It took a while, for her to even get calmed back down enough to say anything, and she didn't move away from her cousin at all. Instead she just sniffled and shifted so it was more comfortable. "I did something wrong." she managed to get out, even if it was really ragged and halting. "And I can't fix it."

Annabell held Hayley, not really sure what was going on but not at all moving away. She held her and stroked her back while she cried, hating that her cousin was so upset about something. When Hayley could talk, Annabell moved them to a small love seat and tried to get Hayley seated. Then she reached for the tea and held it out for Hayley, reaching out with another hand to stroke back a hair from her face. "Tell me what happened."

Sitting down was better than trying to keep supporting her weight when it felt like the world rested on her shoulders. Numbly, she took the tea from Annabell and held it between her hands, feeling the warmth seep into her fingers, though she didn't try to drink yet. Instead she stared at a middle distance. It was a good minute or two before she managed to speak, and when she did her voice was distant, quiet. "You know there was Misha." she said. "Misha, who's sweet and adorable, and probably absolutely everything I wanted in a guy before everything happened. I have this stupid thing in my head where I think I would have wanted to marry him eventually, if things hadn't changed. He's just kind of perfect." she told her.

"But then everything went to hell. And what happened to me happened, and I turned into some monster, and I'm not that girl anymore. My needs changed. And I didn't want it to happen, and I didn't even know it had, really, until...earlier. I don't know. I...Bradley, he started looking after me. He sort of--he gave me what I needed to move forward, to not keep thinking that I should just kill myself." It wasn't an easy admission, not when she knew she'd not talked to her cousin about any of her suicidal feelings. But it was a huge part of this. "Misha...he wanted to just tell me it would be fine and trust that it would be. Bradley could see that I needed something else to even get me putting one foot in front of the other again. So he offered that. He....started following me around, saying he'd protect me, and other people from me. He carries this...this tranquilizer. Just in case. And I don't know." Her face pinched, and she blinked, tears running down her cheeks again even if she didn't sob.

"I guess I developed feelings when I wasn't realizing it. He was just so committed. And always there, even when I tried at one point to send him away? He was still there. I was that important. Or the mission was, I just--I don't know. But I sort of didn't let myself see it. Because why would I do that? I'm not that girl. I'm not like this." she insisted, looking down again. "Only I guess I am. And to make it all a million times worse, I took the advice of a friend and asked Bradley if he had feelings for me. And...I don't even know, Annabell, it wound up somehow that I kissed him. And I really, really shouldn't have done that."

Ok that was a lot. A lot, a lot. And Annabell was reeling just trying to keep up but from what she got from it, it had a lot to do with warring with her feelings between the boys and how they'd both reacted to her change. "Ok, well, Hayley, you are a girl still," She said, though that was the least important thing. It was easier to tackle than her cousin admitting she'd wanted to kill herself, though; an admission that had Annabell nervous and worried and taking a few long moments to try and figure out what to do. She decided to try and calm Hayley down before breaching that topic again.

Shifting a little, Annabell caught Hayley's eyes. "Hayley, you can't help the way that you feel and if you don't feel this way towards Misha, pretending you do is just as wrong as anything else. You did what you needed to, what you'd decided was the best choice for you to make. Beating yourself up about it isn't going to change what happened, it's just going to make you feel worse." Annabell could suggest her go-to option, a bunch of lists to decide the right way, but she didn't think that was what Hayley needed right now. "Just because you thought you were going to marry someone doesn't mean that that is the right path for you."

"It's not even that it's not there, I still care about him. I still just hate myself for even doing anything that might hurt him. Like I said, he's kind of perfect, just...not..." Hayley sniffled again, and looked down, seeing the forgotten tea. She took a sip, but didn't really taste it, and then she set it aside. "I don't think I did what I needed to do, I think I did something wrong. I mean--those boys, they need each other like you wouldn't believe, and I don't want to have caused anything bad between them. I never wanted to hurt anyone at all, and I really should have just...gone home. Not said anything, and gone home, and not done something so collosally stupid, and hurtful, and...I just don't recognize me anymore, I think. I felt it when I kissed Bradley, this...this sort of rush or need or something, and it's like it was there and me but not me and I don't know. I was told that there'd be sort of...sort of an 'inner wolf' or something that might influence things now. You say I'm still a girl but I'm not. Like I know it's been a few days since Auntie was out here, but Uncle was more recently than that. I can smell another scent on you...one I don't recognize, but it's definitely there, someone else. Some other person. I can hear your heart beat."

Annabell was quiet for a moment. "It might be better if you stay here. Stay with me." She wasn't sure she'd liked her cousin being so far away from the family anyway. She wanted to have Hayley close, to be able to look out for her more readily. "But Hayley, you can't beat yourself up for this. I know you don't want to come between them, I can understand that, but if they're both so great, do you think that they'd let that happen? That they'd let this break them up? Maybe they'll both want what is best for you? You have to think of yourself in all of this too. Whatever you did you needed to do, whether unconsciously or consciously. Maybe that's what you need to be thinking about. Making a decision on what to do about what you're feeling instead of beating yourself up for what happened."

"Maybe not. But it still isn't fair to either one of them." Hayley said truthfully. "I feel like a villain in a story. I'm that evil bitch girl who comes between friends, or almost does, or something, and I just...I've had enough trouble with my self concept in my life? This just...I don't know. Makes it all worse." she admitted. She looked over at her backpack, and reached over to dig out the black box with the syringe in it. "I don't think I do have to think of myself, I'm pretty sure that was what got me into this in the first place. And what exactly could I do? None of this is fair. And they're more important to me than me."

Annabell frowned a little more, confused about the box. She ended up shaking her head a little bit. "Hayley, you aren't the villain. You're just dealing with a lot of things you'd never thought you'd be dealing with before. You've got different needs, different things to worry about now, just like you said. And you can't live your life not thinking about the things you need, Hayley. Fair or not, Hayley, it happened. I'm guessing you probably didn't talk to either of them about this, did you?" She wasn't sure that was the best idea anyway, but knowing if she had or not would be nice.

"I left them notes when I left." Hayley said. "And honestly, it happened so fast I couldn't actually talk to anyone. Like, maybe I would have talked to Misha about it before, but I didn't even realize things with Bradley meant what they did til earlier today. And then I asked a friend what to do, and he said I should ask Bradley what he felt, to y'know, rule out the possiblities or something. I mean, it made sense at the time. He was just trying to help." she said, not mad at Tad for his advice. She still shouldered the entirety of the culpability. "So, I guess technically I talked to Bradley about it. And there was the kiss, but when I kissed him? At one point he just looked...god. Sad. Heartbroken, or something." She gave an absolutely miserable faximilie of a smile. "A boy isn't supposed to look at you like that when there's kissing happening."

Well that was true. Annabell could whole-heartedly say that she knew a boy shouldn't look at you like that when they were kissing you. Nodding, she reached out to smooth Hayley's hair again. "At least you gave them something. At least you didn't leave without any sort of notice, a note is something. And Hayley, this isn't a fix that's going to happen in moments. You've got serious thinking to do about what you want and while it doesn't sound appealing right now, I'm sure, you need to think about it. You know you're more than welcome to stay with us for as long as you want, for forever if you want to. I just want you to know you aren't alone in this. I'm here for you, to help you however I can."

"Do you think it would even really matter anymore what I want?" Hayley asked. "I don't actually see a choice here. I don't think I'll have one. I mean, I can't be the girl Misha deserves to have, apparently, and Bradley looked at me like that so--what decision do I have to make? There's no option." she explained. She looked back down at the box. "I'll probably stay here." she said, grateful for the offer. "And there's one thing you can do for me." she added. "There's the biggest island in Park cemetery. It's where a memorial is supposed to go up. Could you go and...and maybe make some flowers grow there?" she asked, knowing her cousin was capable of it. "I wanted it to be beautiful."

She started with the flowers because that was easier, much easier to handle, than the rest of it. "Of course I'll do that. They'll be beautiful, don't worry." She said, trying to reassure her of that. "And honestly, yes, but I'm your cousin and biased towards you being happy. So of course I want you to think that your happiness and what you want out of it is important. But also as your cousin, I'd like to talk about that part where you said you were contemplating killing yourself...and make sure you're all right."

"I haven't thought about it in a while. Just...the whole werewolf thing. I could change and kill people, and I can't deal with that, really. I still can't quite deal with it. But I've been trying to." She opened up the black box then, and showed Annabell the syringe inside. "This will put me down." she explained. "Sedate me, if anything happens."

This was heavy, really heavy, and Annabell really wished she had a pad of paper so she could make herself a list, but instead of going to get one she focused on not fidgeting instead. "....All right..." She said after a long moment, holding her hand out for it. If she might need to use it, she was going to familiarize herself with it. "But Hayley, I just..I'm glad you aren't thinking about it now but if you need to, you can talk to me about it. Those things..keeping them bottled up can't be good for you."

I don't really know what else to do. she thought but didn't share. Then Hayley nodded. "I think I need to lie down, okay?" she said. "I'll sleep out here. It's peaceful." She could curl up on the love seat. She debated the needle again, she knew she had another one in her bag. Maybe if she gave herself just a little of it, it would knock her out enough to sleep through the night. It was worth a shot, she was thinking.

"Are you sure you don't want to come inside and sleep?" She'd slept out on the sun room on more than one occasion, but she just needed to offer. Besides, she wasn't sure she'd be sleeping much with Hayley here. She was already too worried to be restful anyway. She leaned in, though, and kissed Hayley's forehead. "You can sleep wherever you want, but you know my door's always open and I'm here if you need anything."

Nodding, Hayley answered the question and accepted her cousin's offer. "Thank you." she said. "I just...I just need some sleep." she said, knowing there was nothing good that could come of her staying conscious at this point. "Sorry to crash in on you and dump all this stuff on you. And thanks for the flowers."

"Hey, Hayley..anytime. We're family and I love you. You're welcome here all the time. Anytime." She gave her cousin a little smile. "At least let me get you some blankets and a pillow or something. Promise you won't conk out on me until I'm back with that. And some water."

"Okay." Hayley said, already pushing her shoes off, and she curled up on her side on the loveseat. She was probably going to have to self medicate, just a little. That couldn't hurt, right? Just a tiny bit?

Annabell went to grab the things she mentioned, knowing that the rest of the night she was going to be up worrying about Hayley. She had quite a few lists to make and when lists were on the mind, her concept of time crept away form her. First thing first, though. Hayley needed blankets and Annabell intended to give her the most comforting one she had. It was the very least she could do for her cousin.